Sign On A Famous Beauty Parlor Window: Don’t Whistle At The Girls Going Out From Here. She May Be Your Grandmother !

My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn’t Need Glasses… He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.

Sign At A Barber’s Saloon In Detroit: We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.

Advertisement In A Long Island Shop: Guitar, for sale……. cheap……. ….no strings attached.

Ad.. In Hospital Waiting Room: Smoking Helps You Lose Weight … One Lung At A Time!

Seen on a bulletin board: Success Is Relative.  More The Success, More The Relatives.

When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking…I Gave Up Reading.

You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When: Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick.. Or Your Son Starts To Wipe It Off.
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When I want something it always gives me another,
When I don’t want something it is desperate to give me one,
When I say its enough and I don’t want anything it says you are a looser,
When I say I want everything it says you are very greedy,
When I say its okay I don’t want everything it says life deserves everything and you need to work hard,
When I say I am tired of this child’s play it says you are weak and need to fight,
When I fight and get something I realize that it’s not what I wanted,

and when it ultimately gives me what I wanted, I have no value for it;

ah, this so called life,
Nobody can beat it on its tricks.Never, ever..

Source: http://www.osnews.com/story/19266/WTFs_m

If automobile had followed the same development cycle as computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.

Sharing an interesting article about office etiquette I came across on net.

http://www.justaguything.com/the-ultimate-office-etiquette-guide/

An old guy’s car collides with a young guy’s car and both are demolished.
The two crawl out of the wreckage, amazed that neither of them was hurt in the accident. The old guy says, “Look at this miracle! This must surely be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live our lives in peace for the rest of our days.”
“Sure,” says the young guy, convinced the old man’s crazy.
“And look at this!” says the old guy, reaching back into his car. “A miracle! My car is demolished, but this bottle of 12-year-old Scotch didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink and celebrate our good fortune.”
Again the young guy agrees, so the old guy opens the bottle and passes it to him. The young guy smiles and takes several huge swigs, then tries to hand it to the old guy, who, to his surprise, refuses. “Aren’t you having any?”
asks the young guy.
“No, thanks,” replies the old guy. “I’ll wait for the police.”

A computer was something on TV
from a science fiction show of note.
A window was something you hated to clean,
and ram was the cousin of a goat.

Meg was the name of my girlfriend,
and gig was a job for the nights.
Now they all mean different things,
and that really mega bytes.

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